How to address a troubled Marriage
Lord God, what must I do to bring peace to my marriage?
God, Husband, and Wife
In the beginning, God, the Creator of man and woman, saw a purpose for creating a man and a woman. He first created the man (Adam) and gave him purpose (Mission). That mission was to manage God’s creation on this planet (Earth).
In response to God’s plans of filling the Earth and living among His creation forever. God saw purpose for creating a woman (Eve). Eve was created to suit God’s plans to fill the Earth with more Creations in His image.
“God created the man from the earth and woman from the man.”
“God’s vision was to fill the Earth with created beings to live among.”
“God’s mission was to prove His creation was worthy to live among.”
When God brought the woman (Eve) to the man (Adam), they became one in vision and mission - called Marriage Covenant.
Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed and without fear. In other words, their marriage was transparent and joined by God (LOVE). The covenant relationship was entered when the two agreed to fulfill God’s vision and mission to manage the Earth and Creatures filling the Earth with created beings in the likeliness of God.
Words: She is Bone of my Bones. She is Flesh of my Flesh. Adam accepted the offer from God.
Actions: Eve was presented to Adam. Adam received Eve as his companion, assistant, and partner to manage God’s creation and reproduce after their kind (God’s likeliness). Adam and Eve were in agreement with God.
Where did we go wrong?
After the honeymoon stage (Paradise), outside influences attack the marriage. For instance, Satan came in the host of a serpent to test the loyalty of God’s delegated overseers (of the World System). When God delegated authority, power, and purpose unto the married couple, He gave them commands (instructions and warnings) about the Tree of Knowledge and Tree of Life in the middle of Paradise (Garden of Eden).
Test of Faithfulness:
Faithfulness can only be proven when options are presented to lure you away from performing your part in the Marriage Covenant (Between Adam plus Eve and God).
Will you or your spouse disregard God’s purpose and warnings in pursuit of your own interest and desire?
Will you or your spouse disobey God’s command and instructions to become wise as God in your own rights?
Will you or your spouse dishonor God’s covenant by allowing an outsider to persuade with partial truths?
Adam and Eve failed to exercise their authority and power to resist Satan. For example, the married couple entertained Satan and fell victim to his subtle, convincing argument against God’s person and character. Adam and Eve went against their own knowledge of God to believe a creature with a hidden agenda.
~Unfaithful to God
What caused trouble to enter our marriage?
The serpent (Satan) was controlled by a spiritual being. Satan must gain entry through the weakness of the physical host. For instance, body, mind, and emotions are gateways to the spirit and soul of an individual.
Test of Resolve:
Resolve is proven by presenting alternative solutions that promote an easier way to obtain relief from pain and threat. For example, the serpent confronted Eve directly, knowing her inner thoughts about the restrictions God imposed.
Do you or your spouse find offense in God’s restrictions?
Do you or your spouse suffer from PTSD, finding relief in false realities and expressions?
Do you or your spouse use God’s name or scriptures to justify your Di-vision and Disconnection to follow what you desire?
Adam and Eve had no resolve for the alternative solutions Satan presented. Satan simply agreed with Eve’s inner doubts about God’s restrictions and validated her desire to pursue what she wanted. Satan won Eve over by reprogramming her mind with false realities. Adam was conquered by witnessing no immediate consequence for disobedience. Eve was conquered by the assurance of being equal to God.
~Having Unresolved Issues with God
How am I to address the cause and the effects?
The answers to confronting and eliminating the effects of unfaithfulness and unresolved issues will cost you your right to be unforgiving and resentful. For example, after Adam and Eve were enlightened by their disobedience, they were confronted by God. Yet, the man (Adam) blamed God for giving him the woman (Eve) who gave him the fruit he ate. The woman (Eve) blamed the serpent (Satan) for deceiving her into eating the fruit they were forbidden.
Now looking at their approach to addressing the cause and effects of their troubled marriage may mirror many of our covenant relationships. For instance, we confess our wrongs but blame them on each other. In other words, we rarely confess our wrongs and take ownership for our contributions. Adam and Eve, enlightened, saw themselves naked.
Are you hiding your vulnerability from God?
Are you brutally honest with yourself about your contribution to the troubled marriage?
Are you willing to repent and return to God for correction and healing?
Satan is only allowed to influence and can only take possession when we give place. Adam and Eve gave place to Satan to influence their decisions and actions. The effect of Satan’s influence is control over the world we were to manage. The couple was evicted and chastised. Death is now a part of our process to return to God.
~Acknowledge your sin; Confess your sin to God; Repent from your sin; Return to God with all your heart, mind, spirit, and soul
Why am I the only one hurting?
You are not the only one hurting. A troubled marriage hurts the whole world because it gives Satan a stronghold on those created through your union. When we are self-centered, we consider only our pain. Your contributions to the troubled marriage are destroying your offspring and those who come after your unresolved issues.
Your pain is because you have yet to decide to give it over to God. Instead, you find comfort in the label of victim and the attention it attracts. Until you no longer seek the attention from being a victim and comfort in self-righteousness, your pain will remain. Clear your conscience of the things that entangle you with the pain and unapproved ways which prove you unfaithful to God.
Adam can now only manage and produce the fruits God desires by the sweat of his brow. Eve’s desires are to be to her husband, and her pain shall be in birthing sons and daughters. Adam and Eve are no longer managers of the Whole Earth (but Satan usurped them through his ability to influence males and females).
~The World System is against God’s chosen because Satan influences males and females to care only for themselves. He sears the conscience of those who give him place.
God sent Jesus to address our troubles.
The Love of God has provided a way to restore and strengthen our covenant relationship with God. Jesus is the way. It is because of Jesus we receive the Holy Spirit, who counsels and guides us through life on Earth. When we value and obey God’s Word (Jesus), we can resist Satan and cast him out of our marriages.
Through Jesus, we can destroy the works of Satan. For example, Jesus forgave you of past trauma, offenses, and the destruction of good relationships by your own hands.
For Husbands - Jesus laid down His life for the Church (Wife/Church).
For Wives - Jesus is to be respected because He is Head (Husband/Head of the Wife).
When Jesus is the focus and not each other, we are powerful and makers of peace in a chaotic World System under the influence of Satan.
Adam and Eve suffered in their family greatly. God became silent and felt distant. Son murdered the younger son over jealousy. Adam and Eve maintained their righteousness with God, and their son Seth was born. God was no longer silent nor distant.
~Following Jesus’ example is the way to address our troubled marriages
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~Your Brother in Christ 21